I’m posting a few of the common ‘wordz’ used among fixiethusiasts (and cycling in general). If you have any additions, please let me know and I’ll add to the list. P.S. Many of these I’ve just copied from various other sites, so if you’ve seen them before – props to the original poster!
Fred: new/inept rider
Fakenger: someone who dresses, acts and poses like a messenger, but in reality is not.
Obliterati- n. Collective name for drivers excessively occupied with things going on in their car, to the severe detriment of those outside their car.
Gutter Bunny: A commuter
Boing-boing. A fully suspended bike.
Yard Sale: What happens when you crash and send your belongings all over the trail or street.
Desert Pinstripe: What you get applied to your body if you pass too close to a cactus, ocotillo, or other thorned plant.
Desert (or Mountain) Seasoning: What you get added to your Power Bar or banana if you drop it.
Pimp: Anyone in your riding group who owns a bike shop and tries to sell you the latest gadget, thingabob or whatchamcallit, WHILE YOU ARE ON A RIDE.
Chainring Tatoo: What you wind up with on your calf if you unclip and collide with your leg.
Horizontal Trackstand: What you perform if you forget to unclip at a stop.
Gravity Check: Self-explanitory. Usually results in a Yard Sale.
Dope: Expression of envy, coolness or epitome. Like ‘the Vanilla H+ is maximum dope”. Or ‘His build is dope’.
Build: Completed bike. Start with a frameset and everything together is your ‘build’.
Squishies: the bits that crimp over your cable ends
Conan: any bike racer with unshaved legs
Core sample: what unplugged bar ends do to quadriceps in a crash
Beer cooler: old-style foam helmet, sans hardshell
Muletto: Old POS turned into a fixie for training or commuting.
Butt plug: that shagged-out last guy in a paceline who WON’T rotate forward or take a pull
Water truck: guy peeing while riding off the back of the pack
Rocket pants: full-on team kit worn for poseur points, i.e. issued as a challenge to the group ride: “Got my rocket pants on today, boyos!”
Cat 5 tattoo: chainring grease marks on inside of right leg.
Streaker: ill-advised solo breakaway, more commonly called a “flyer”
Hack: Your messenger bag.
POS: ‘Piece of Shit’ May be used with terms of endearment or disdain.
Salmon: Rider going up the street the wrong way.
Calvin Klein: A rider wearing a t-shirt that flaps in the breeze, exposing his or her choice of underwear. .
Captain Dashboard: Cyclist who has grown a forest of doodads on his handlebars. Bells, lights, mirrors, brackets that go to gizmos that are now broken. See also, Handle Bar Ent.
Curb Cut Campy: The guy on the high end road bike that’s worth more than all my earthly possessions who rides faithfully on the sidewalks, weaving to hit every curb cut.
Crop Duster: A motor vehicle that leaves huge clouds of exhaust, making you feel like you an insect as you ride in the cloud.
COG: rear wheel chain cog. Note its singular, NOT plural!
Pounding: full-tilt crazy riding, usually in double paceline, notable for heart-rate noticeable in everyone’s forehead
Squirrel: the this-way-that-way guy who can’t seem to stay steady in a paceline or pack
Bikini: a triathlete or multi-sport rider participating on the local group ride
Oompa-Loompa: On some commutes you will encounter parents with small children learning how to ride on tiny bikes. The tiny bikes are typically very colorful and I have encountered a few children who are singing as they ride.
Optimus Prime: A rider on a folding bike, or what might be called a Transformer bike. In NYC an Optimus Prime can often be seen entering or exiting a subway entrance, transforming for the ride on the train or transforming to ride on the streets.
Plain Jane: This is the rider who likes to cycle but has no interest in bike clothing or accessories at all whatsoever. They are rocking what they would wear down the street, like cargo shorts and a hoodie.
Pool Boy: A male rider that chooses to go shirtless, also see Hasselhoff.
Tin Man: This is a person riding a bike that is crying out in agony for lubricant.
Tour De France Guy: This is the guy that is so ultra serious about keeping his pace that he scoffs loudy to show his disdain when people get in his way.
Twinkie: This is the rider who is obviously involved in some sort of competitive racing because s/he is sporting shoe covers, but not the winter kind to protect you from the cold – rather very bright (often pink, yellow, or white) that I guess are meant to reduce drag . . . and make their feet look like Twinkies. You can also say a rider is “Twinkied Out” – meaning s/he looks like a giant Twinkie due to brightly colored, tight garb.
Vagabonder: This rider is a commuter, but likely could be confused for someone making an epic journey across the United States. Dual bags hang from both the front and back rack, bulging with precious cargo, and huge mirrors adorn the handlebars (See also Sherpa).
Valley Girl: A female rider that dons a low cut shirt to ride in.
Weeble Wobbler: This is the rider with a wheel so badly out of alignment that you are surprised the brakes actually function.
X-Ray: Motorized human who can look directly at a cyclist without seeing him or her.
Epic: Epitome, maximum, beyond comprehension.
Fail: Mistake or disaster that oftentimes includes injury, damage to one’s ride or property. Can also be used to describe someone who simply makes an ass out of themself.