Road Fixie

Jan 4th BGN Network: Japan has announced a nationwide ban on fixed gear bicycles. According to sources, any and ALL persons found in possession or riding a Fixed Gear (otherwise known as fixie, track, NJS, fixed) will have their cycle confiscated and fined ni-man go-sen yen 25,000Yen or equivalent of nearly $300! In addition to the banning, all fixed gear bicycles are declared ILLEGAL and UNSAFE, clearing the way for a maximum penalty law to be put into immediate effect.

Today at the Motegi Twin Ring 100km Enduro, the law was exercised as a racer, on the line, was forcibly extracted and denied entry. In addition, the racer was  geo-tagged and demanded under redress to write on a chalk message board of exactly the same type found in any Japanese train station, ‘I will not ride fixed gear and dishonor Japan anymore’ 1000 times. The alternate penalty was to watch more than 10hrs straight of NHK New Year’s programming or “Midnight Train Pervert” , both of which the rider declined in favor of the more traditional chalk board penalty.

Commenting from Motegi, a director of the organizing body exclaimed, ” This is the best decision for Japan. Even though we have a long history of bicycles, these fixed gear hooligans must be taken down a notch’. ‘ How can they think to share the road with our respectable Japanese riders on derailer who cannot pedal with such grace and power?’  ‘ That is reserved only for Keirin riders – whom we deem next to god these days’.'Personally I don’t see the big deal’, commented DG, who was standing next to Rider X as he was tasered and had a live octopus forced up his rectum simultaneously, ‘ I mean, they’re on a bike, right? It has 2 wheels and a chain – so what’s the big deal? As far as I can see it, if they want to punish themselves by not having gears, that’s their business, not mine!’

The recent action may be seen as a backlash to Japanese industry falling behind the rest of the world and needing to bolster their claim to small machine economy under pressure from companies like Shimano, who manufacture much of the derailer based equipment. Unlike fixed gear bicycles which require a fraction of the components to function properly, and may be maintained with nothing more than a 15mm wrench and some olive oil now and then. Compared to the overly complex derailleur based equipment, the fixed gear bike represents a serious and real challenge to the Japanese component  industry.

After his expulsion from the race, Rider X has determined to form a new coalition to protest the ban on fixed gear in Japan (and globally). And to raise awareness of the ‘original seed’ as a valid and included form of cycle for any sporting related event. Black ‘Cogstrong’ wristbands may be purchased to support this effort at supporting bike shops and online shops.

Ride Fixed – GO TO JAIL! Do you really want that to happen?  Wake up – cause its HERE!

disclaimer: everything contained within this blog are my opinionated rants, raves and outlook on society and humanity in general. Some are factual, some are not, the facts are rarely, if ever checked. Any similarity of my writings to people past, present or future is just random luck and synchronicity.